Sunday, August 5, 2012

Toes and Jeans

Okay, so I know the title sounds a little funky. But I couldn't think of anything better to aptly describe my day (which was actually like 4 days ago, but whatevs).

For the third day in a row I contemplated while I actually leave the house, realizing that its not the safest thing for me to do. However, life outside the confines of the house, is interesting.

I left the house yesterday to go do three things: get my car inspected, pick up the jeans I had ordered from Lane Bryant, and try to convince myself that my feet where gross enough for a pedicure.

I accomplished 2 of the 3.

First, I went and got a pedicure. And I went to a place that was advertising a sale. This is possibly the biggest mistake you can make when you want someone of Asian decent (and hold the phone, I'm not being racists, I've just never had a non-Asian perform a pedicure)to do your toes. The sale was a pedicure and manicure for $35. Which is a considerable amount of money, but that is what I paid for a pedicure about a year ago, and they didn't throw in the manicure.

And I got to watch the Olympics while reading a book on my Nook. It was a win-win.

The pedicure was mostly okay, and the Asian woman broke out the cheese grader to scrap my feet with. Which was heavenly. Because no matter how long I can sit at home and rub one of those things on my feet (okay, so not an actual cheese grader thingy, but something from the feet department at HEB) I never get the same results.

She got results. And her results came with a little Jehovah.

Now before I continue, let me explain that I respect other religions and I do not go around preaching my beliefs upon other people. I have a strict policy of not talking politics and religion with people. It is just safer for people that way, especially because I am opinionated and often loud.

My respect however, wanes for Jehovah Witness's and does not exist for scientology. Because of what I believe, I believe that religion and foundations go back about 2012 years. And I fail to find credibility in religions that are more recent aka the 20th century. However, don't preach it to me, and I won't get all preachy to you.

It took every bone in my body to resist from saying anything when the guy came in the nail salon dressed in his dark slacks and dark long sleeved dress shirt and tie.

Conversation between the missionary and the nail lady:

Can I help you?

Are you Vietnamese?

Yes, I am.

I am learning Vietnamese and would like to share with you. He starts spouting off in Vietnamese.


Now I have the utmost respect for this guy because he learned how to talk about redemption in Vietnamese. But Jehovah doesn't translate. And the lady was not having it. And she was hacking away at my feet with a sharpish metal object. And other than the awkward silence with the crickets playing their violins, there was not a sound coming from the lady doing my toes. Or her colleagues for that matter.

Just another day in a big city ya'll.

After I got my toes and nails done, I went to Lane Bryant to pick up jeans that I had ordered with my Christmas giftcard when they had a 50% off sale.

I ruined the manicure on two fingernails, but I sure do look good in those jeans.

--Jessica G.

PS. I would like to apologize for anything offensive I might have said. Like I said, I try to avoid religion and politics.

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