Monday, May 5, 2014


That word looks like I just typed some letters together, added an ia on the end, and created a disorder.

But its REAL. And I all the time threaten to have this disorder.

Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-nee-uh).

This is a disorder of pulling ones own hair own. I often say that I am going to do it. Pull out my hair strand by strand. If I actually did it, I'd have trichotillomania.

I can't imagine actually having this disorder or having the time to sit down and individually pull out each strand of my hair. Although, some days, it seems like a good alternative to anything else.

You might be think that I am incredibly weird or crazy. You are right. Earlier tonight, I self-diagnosed myself with panic disorder and general anxiety disorder. Those are the fun disorders that make your heart pound and freak outs all around. I'm currently in the middle of mini freak outs.

Graduate school.
End of the year.

It all causes so many problems.
I've had some problems getting into a groove of working out. My goals of working out 4-5 days a week have not happened. They have absolutely not happened. I maybe work out 2 days a week. I desperately struggle with accountability.  I currently have a long distance accountability partner from a group on Facebook, but it isn't the same.

Last year, it was easier to be motivated. I was surrounded by people who wanted to make good choices and workout all the time. This year, not so much. And with stress and school work, its not getting easier. Plus Michael is a total enabler. 

We can probably blame the lack of motivation on the anxiety. Or the depression. I'm gonna try to beat it. Again. 

Do you suffer from anxiety? What about depression? What are some of the ways you beat it?

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